I Am

I am what I promised myself I would never become,

  A promise made once it had already begun

I am what happens when demons are told to behave,

  Hidden and hungry for the mischief I crave

I am what looks to you like perfectly sane,

  Desperate for a way to stop ignoring the pain

I am what amount of myself I allow you to see,

  Dissolving to become who you want me to be

I am what remains from the destruction of my being,

  Beaten and worn; stripped of all meaning

I am what causes the grasp of death to awaken,

  Offering myself but watching others get taken

I am, paradoxically, what I am not,

  I am nothing

     and so,

  I am what I am taught.

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