Wind

Even last exhales dissipate in wind; all that was never was. Maybe that is the earth showing us how to grieve. The wind reminds us that what is gone is gone; that we need to let go. The rain washes their blood away; the flow of time will dilute our pain. The ground absorbs their buried bones, teaching us that they must live on in memory; that life is truly intangible.

Your Drug

I am your drug.
Burn me until I fill the hollowest parts of you; the parts of you that cause you to burn me. Exhale me and feel me escape your depths; I'll flow out gracefully as if I was unkept. I'll transform into something so far from what I once was; dissipate in the freedom of a greater world. When I've left, you will carry an intoxication of my energy; a reminder of what you have done to me.

Ocean Water

Sinking softly into the wet sand beneath my feet,
I wait patiently for the next light wave
To bring a rush of cool ocean water over my bare toes.
My knees weaken with intimidation
As I stare out at the never ending ocean
Expanding beyond the wide horizon.
The soft purple light of the sky reflects off the water,
Forcing the sky and ocean to become one.
I stand right in this spot every Sunday.
Sometimes, I think the ocean remembers me,
Holds back its tide as it waits for me
And releases it once I come.
I don't have a purpose when I come here;
I don't walk down the shore or go for a swim.
I just stand and stare,
Pondering and dreaming.



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I Am

I am what I promised myself I would never become,

  A promise made once it had already begun

I am what happens when demons are told to behave,

  Hidden and hungry for the mischief I crave

I am what looks to you like perfectly sane,

  Desperate for a way to stop ignoring the pain

I am what amount of myself I allow you to see,

  Dissolving to become who you want me to be

I am what remains from the destruction of my being,

  Beaten and worn; stripped of all meaning

I am what causes the grasp of death to awaken,

  Offering myself but watching others get taken

I am, paradoxically, what I am not,

  I am nothing

     and so,

  I am what I am taught.

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One

Today, I choose to feel life.

To stand in the rays of sunlight,

And evaporate in its strength.

To step on the dew covered grass,

And be grasped by the soil beneath my weight.

To gaze at each creature roaming among me,

And be connected to each of their spirits.

To fill my lungs until they can contain no more,

And exhale with hopes of fueling new life.

To close my eyes,

extend my arms to the heights of the sky,

And absorb the magnitude of the universe.

My feet may be stuck in an unwanted place,

My mind meandering through the clouds,

My surroundings moving in too fast a pace,

But today,

No matter the perplexity,

The earth and I share no boundaries.

We are one.

I am one.

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Consciousness

They picked me up and threw me down,

I hit the ground without a sound.

And there I stayed, bitterly bound

Until my mind receded all obstruction

Alas, I witnessed a profound introduction

To a state that grabbed me, as if by seduction.

A state of questioning, nothing to conceal.

Maybe it's our fantasies that make life so real,

Or could life be the fantasy, and true pain surreal?

There are those who cling desperately to their sanity,

Could one stimulate such great electricity

For a damaged soul to achieve sublimity?

Imagine the depths of hell echo in absence,

As the devils walk among us in abundance.

Who are the few that bear a sinful conscience?

They had picked me up and thrown me down,

I became reborn, standing much taller now

And in tune to an enlightening sound.

So now I ask of you to expand your vision,

Beyond yourself, biases, even religion

For the earth plays music for those who listen.

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Disconnected

My body is here, my heart has gone
My mind is stable, but can't move on.
The wrong emotion arrives late,
A smile hides a painful hate.
So high up, yet so far under
When it rains it pours; my soundtrack is thunder.

A memory is lost much too quickly,
But a lie takes its place just as swiftly.
Attempting to gain love through false affection,
I leave in a state of empty disconnection.
Guilt buried inside waits for my vulnerability
To crack my broken soul and devour it wickedly.


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